Open your next cold brew with a bottle opener that says "I'm a fan of bad ass, versatile bottle openers that magically stick to refrigerators."  Imprinted with our already iconic official logo, this bottle opener is sure to make people stare at your refrigerator and then ask "What the hell is this?"  Then you'll be like..."it's a bottle opener, dude."  And then they'll be like..."Oh, cool."  
At least that's how I'm imagining the conversation.  Let me know how it goes.  

100% of the profits from the sale of this product will go toward the film budget of The Legend of El Chupacabra, a monster-thriller comedy set to begin filming in South Texas in the fall of 2022.